This Distance Between Us

If we were closer… 
we would chase dreams 

and passion together. 
We would fight our demons while being made already whole by the persevering 
the darkness that looms would never be given the satisfaction of rebirth again, 
for, if it be just us 

then let us both in singular fashion and triumphant prose

SHOUT, victory!!! 
I shall live and see you ( DEATH ) fade like a memory not easily remembered. An image not easily pictured a blur, queer and unidentifiable. 
I’m ghost, we are ghosts 
we torment our pain and folly with the light of joy and 
We are more than our struggles

We are more than our Pain
Still in all your past the docks and I have no life raft, should I throw my discretion out and leap for faith, will faith keep me above the water, what if I begin to drown?
Can this distance be overcome, can my distance be met, am I alone or just absent
I see you but I can’t touch you, I’m inspired but there’s no physical evidence. I’m stuck again on faith, if a tree falls does it make a sound? Hell yea it does!!!
I’m letting go and taking the plunge I’m leaving this, and following the “Darkness On The Edge Of Town”. Let my ears and tears write these words that you can’t hear. I’ll be everything and more. I’m gonna surpass this distance, watch me!!!!!
Watch Me Rise!!!!


Blue Eyes

 We used to walk together

I used to look into your eyes 

I don’t look any longer

I don’t see blue

All I feel is the ocean

Crashin against my mind and heart

All I know is we used to walk 

I would look into your eyes

Bright beautiful and blue like the ocean 

We used to go to

Now we don’t go anywhere anymore

All that I have are memories of a fantasy

Too grandiose for words

Your eyes were blue, they would speak to me

Your eyes said I loved you

But I couldn’t see

I can’t see love

Love is not for me

I miss the ocean

I miss the beach 

I miss your body crashing against mine

I miss how you would rise like a wave crash with the undertow 

Of my release

Where did our passion go

Fuck, I don’t know 

You’re all I ever knew, and known

I miss your eyes looking at me, like a wide open jersey shore by the boardwalk can we go for a walk one more time?

We used to go for walks 

Now I don’t wanna walk no more

I’m tired of feeling this way

But your eyes haunt me like. A silence in the dead of night, like a chill in my bones when I’m wet and cold with no other layers but my own slim scrawny fat cells to give me heat. 

I know how to be cold

I know alone

I see you rising like a magnificent wave your eyebrows and pupils the ocean floor, your eyes are the Ocean! I’m in your vision, I can’t escape. I feel your gaze but you don’t see me, every where I go there you are. Is it the ocean or is it you

I would kiss the ocean if it meant I could kiss you

I know I’m alone

Fuck I know. I know too well

Reflections: Asbury ParkĀ 

I want to run, I want to run and not look back,I want to run till theirs nothing left,

pack my bags and take off down the coastline, leave my troubles in the back of my mind.

find some peace on the shore, throw myself in and sink to the floor.

I want to run…

But, all I know is what I’ve seen, and all, I’ll ever see(n) is here.

All I know is here…

But I want to run, I want to run, I want to run

where pain and disappoint dissipate, I want to not feel…

oh to not feel, to be lifeless

let the ocean take over me, abounding in grace while i sink to floor of the sea.

Let the shore wash these sins away…let the ocean absolve me and what I’ll never be


I want to run…

I don’t know what I’m doing or where it is that I’m going… I feel every fucking thing

I’ll resurrect like a phoenix or a junkie about to spill his Hagen Daz,

yea I’ll rise up like a wino on a Union Square bench, stumble into Beth Israel

I’m tired…I tried…

I want to run

I wish I could have made you happy…

but all this New York kid knows is the blues

I’ll boared the next train and take it where it goes…